yuletide_coal | Afterburn

ayrt

It's more direct because it comes to me straight from them, rather than through the medium of the AO3. It's more personal for the same reason, and obviously it's also private. I don't find comment notifications and emails to be equally personal or direct.

I guess whether or not I would feel they were hiding something would depend on what they said to me? And also perhaps the content of the fic (i.e. if I'd written really kinky porn and someone preferred to email me than leave a public comment). But honestly I think that's quite a paranoid reach. I think people who are concerned about that would tend to be people who are very concerned themselves about what people who read their comments think (maybe justified if, say, you're a BNF). But I pretty much assume nobody gives a shit about what fic I like, which I think is true for a majority of fans.

How would you feel if an author commented on their own fic and c&p your comment? Or if they logged out and c&p your comment?

I think that if you comment then you "own" that comment and can edit it/reply to it as you will, but when you e-mail the comment then your author "owns" it, and they can make it public if they so please.

I strongly disagree that things that are emailed privately are OK to be made public without permission, whether that's comments, confessions, chatty personal emails, whatever. Do not publish something that someone has emailed to you without asking them first (unless it's harassment or something that needs to be made public).

da

I strongly disagree that things that are emailed privately are OK to be made public without permission, whether that's comments, confessions, chatty personal emails, whatever. Do not publish something that someone has emailed to you without asking them first (unless it's harassment or something that needs to be made public).

Wow, yes, that would creep me way out and also make me pretty mad. I would almost certainly not be giving that author ANY feedback again if I could help it. You can bet I'd tell my friends, too.

da

A problem neatly solved by posting the comment in public yourself first.

+ 1

it's two birds with one stone. i would tell all my friends that you were a dick who doesn't comment in public. it's no skin off my back if you never comment on my fic again -- obviously you don't comment in a way i like anyway -- and this way everyone knows that you don't give public feedback, so why bother writing you a good fic?

worst thing that happens to me is that people don't stalk me to send me tumblr asks or dw pms or emails. which i didnt want people to do anyway so....yay?

this is a moot point because so few people do this -- thank god -- but i would totally leak a comment send to me in private. no where did i ever promise to uphold anyones privacy. if you want to go against the expected norm that dictates you post a comment in the place where the fic was originally posted, i'll go against the expected norm and not assume that you wanted your backchannel message to remain on the backchannel.

good lord what a fusspot. you got feedback! what's your obsession with making sure that it's in public?

na

Hey, if the recip's not going to bother doing the polite thing, then why should the author?

DA

There's "not doing the polite thing" and there's "escalating by being amazingly rude". Reposting someone's email thanking you for a story is kiiiiinda towards the latter.

I don't see it as an escalation. From where I stand both actions are rude and ignore social norms.

You're the one who thinks sending private feedback is rude. That is not even remotely a widely accepted social norm.

Way to misrepresent, Coalie.

Nobody's saying it's rude to give private feedback if he author provided a way to privately contact them. If a writer provides their email address on a story, I'll use it.

What we're talking about in this thread is the person who receives a personalized gift and decides it's too inconvenient to log in to AO3 and instead stalks somebody's presence across other websites and contacts them there, without caring if it's more convenient for them or even whether the message will definitely be received. And yes, I do think that would be weird and rude, but frankly I'm skeptical about how often it happens. I think it's pretty unlikely that the majority of this list chose to comment in secret and are being unfairly maligned. I think they just straight up didn't comment.

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