yuletide_coal | It's always coalest before the dawn

It's always coalest before the dawn

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What meet-cutes are available when A is a criminal and you don't want B to be hiring them or the meeting to be cutesy?

A runs into B in the course of their crime seems like the obvious option. Maybe someone else hires them to steal from B, but B's got better security than they expected. Maybe they're checking out B's workplace as part of a plan for a heist. Maybe B has an invite to an event they need to get into, so they romance B to get a +1 and then end up catching real feelings.

Could you do something completely coincidental but not overly cute? Like a random meeting at a laundromat because even criminals need clean clothes.

A is being chased by the cops/other criminals/someone he wronged. He ducks into B's apartment/house expecting it to be empty, but B is there. B has a good sense of humor about it and they flirt a little. A runs off but goes back when the heat dies down.

A could also grab B in a public situation and ask them to pretend to be their sig-other as a cover for the people after them, and B goes along with it because they were bored anyway.

depending on the canon, A could be the one hiring B to make/do something they need that they can't do on their own. (a copy of a key, a statue that ways exactly 3.82 lbs is 6 inches tall and a 3"x3" base-no it doesn't matter what it's of just that it has these exact dimensions, deliver flowers to this address at exactly 4:57 pm on tuesday)

car accident that for B is totally mundane - maybe it's a fender bender, nobody's fault - but for A is really complicated bc criminal stuff. B is increasingly wary/suspicious/curious bc of their fake ID, reluctance to call police, trying to pay for damage with cash, whatever

oh baby I have so many

A needs to blend into the crowd and sits down next to B, but, umm, B was saving that seat actually and A is now sitting on B's jacket which was draped over the seat in accordance with the international rules of Seat Claiming. How fuckin rude to ignore an international rule, honestly. Snippy jacket retrieval ensues where B is all "DO YOU MIND?" and A is like "HEY, SHHH! LOOK, CAN YOU JUST BE CHILL FOR A SECOND?" and B takes theatrical offence at being shushed, all "IDK CAN YOU STOP MAKING ASS IMPRINTS IN MY VINTAGE VELVET PEACOAT FOR A L I F E T I M E?" and A is just "WELL, IT ALREADY LOOKS LIKE ASS, SO..." etc

A is injured in the course of criminal activities and is limping to safety, B is walking home in the opposite direction, they cannot avoid each other and they've already made eye contact. B sees A limping and 100% does NOT want to get involved, no thank you, no way, and A 100% does not want to explain how these injuires happened to some nosy rando, also y'know A is injured and not feeling at the top of their bullshitting game right now. They awkwardly shuffle past each other making incredibly strained small talk "EVENING! OUT FOR A STROLL, MATE???" "NICE NIGHT FOR IT!! A HA HA HA!" and it happens again 2 days later under different circumstances, where maybe A catches B in an embarrassing position and A returns the favour, so to speak, by not acknowledging it.

A doesn't want any witnesses hanging around the scene of their upcoming crime and tries to intimidate B away from the area, A plays the situation completely wrong AND B BURSTS INTO TEARS AND ITS ONE HUGE "HOLY SHIT I HATE MYSELF" MOMENT FOR BOTH OF THEM

A is being chased by a pack of rabid wolves, why not, A gets cornered and valiantly tries to kick them all to death, because A isn't going through goddamn wolf rabies treatment again, fuck no, that was the fuckin worst, AND THEN B'S CAR COMES AROUND THE CORNER AT HIGH SPEEDS AND FLATTENS ALL OF THE WOLVES INTO MEAT PASTE! AND A IS BLINKING IN THE WOLF MIST LIKE "OMG" AND B IS SCREECHING TO A STOP LIKE "OMG" AND A IS ASSESSING THE SITUATION LIKE "YESSSSSSS!! NOT TODAY, RABIES! NOT TODAY!" AND B IS LEANING OUT THE CAR WINDOW LIKE "OH NO!! DID I HIT YOUR DOG???" AND A IS LIKE "...YES. YES YOU DID. AND I DEMAND MONETARY COMPENSATION."

A and B in an elevator. SOMEONE FARTS, BOTH DENY IT

da

All of these start at a point where I'm at "hell, yeah, I'm down for that" and then quickly descend into "WTF?!" land.

Thanks

AYRT

Sorry! I was just so baffled because those are really great premises but the way you resolved them are... not how I thought they would go or would have liked them to go.

So how would you want them to go?

(Caveat: none of these are inherently better than what AIRT suggested. They'd just work better for me, because hysterically crying characters or farting would make me backbutton out of any meet cute. Different strokes etc.)

For the elevator scenario I'd have the elevator get stuck. Or someone tries to take out A in the elevator and B haplessly walks in on them, so A has to defend themselves and prevent the reckless, attractive idiot to be murdered.

A trying to intimidate B away from the area of a crime they've planned and playing it wrong? Great! Why not have B mistaking the attempt at intimidation for flirting?

Injured A running into B repeatedly sounds like a perfect premise for h/c.

A sliding into the seat next to B could lead to a 'quick, act as if we're here together' scenario. Though that might go against the 'have the meeting be too cutesy' thing OP asked for. The problem there is, that "meet cute" by definition implies some kind of cutesyness. If someone is requesting meet cutes, that's usually what they are expecting.

Ayyy, you didn't need to roll in with apologies and caveats! It's a brainstorming thread, and if what I suggested got you to contribute then that's a good thing — and those are all fine meet cute prompts, I'm sure OP will appreciate it.

They could all definitely be improved with the threat of wolf rabies tho.

The wolf one is killing me. Someone, please write it, preferably for a fandom I know.

Oh holy fuck these are all amazing. That first coalie has zero taste.

Cheers! I don't think their reaction was an indicator of taste, just that they have a different sense of humour, which is fine, and they had their own ideas for prompts, which is great.

What's cool about these threads is that you not only get an idea of what to write, but an idea of what ppl want to read. I want to read about chaotic assholes and willfully oblivious unspoken rapports and fart-cutes and wolf paste. I can absolutely understand if someone else doesn't.

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It's always coalest before the dawn

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