yuletide_coal | The Dirty Energy Source

The Dirty Energy Source

Do you want to make a spreadsheet about spreadsheets?
Do you still need to figure out what two other fandoms you should request beside the only one you really want fic for?
Or are you trolling ALL the letter posts for placeholders, just so you can write those people some nice, dry coal?

We want to know all about it.

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Let me tell you the epic tale of the Unwritten Werewolf Porn.

About three Yuletides ago, I got assigned to somebody who wanted weird porn. They wanted a slash werewolf AU where one character dominates and then claims the other. There were plenty of gen outs, but I was pretty sure they were really after the werewolf porn. Thing is, I thought it was a fantastic prompt. The characters they requested were slashy as hell and the dynamic worked really well with the canon aspects of their relationship.

Coalies, I was all about this werewolf porn.

Problem was, the fandom was a spy action movie and I couldn't think of any obvious way to insert werewolves into the universe. Were they open about being werewolves? How did it impact their jobs? Did they retain human level intelligence as wolves? So many questions.

I was halfway through writing it and nearly at deadline point, when my flatmate phoned me to tell me that my 4 foot snake had escaped its vivarium and gotten into the air conditioning and that they were now leaving to visit their parents in another country and couldn't do anything about it.
I was also visiting my parents in another country and spent the next few days booking flights and then winkling an angry python out of a duct. There was no time to finish the story.

So I took the easier gen out. I wrote it quickly. It was...reasonable.
I wanted to finish the fic and treat them but by the time I got round to it, too much time had passed, and I just felt too weird about sending this complete stranger werewolf porn out of the blue. What if they weren't into the fandom any more? Or werewolves? Or porn?
It sits in my hard drive, strange, out of place, unloved.
And that is the tale of my Yuletide Regret.

TLDR: Couldn't finish great porn because of snakes. Wrote mediocre gen fic instead.

This is my new favorite story ever.

Please post the werewolf porn!!

That is an amazing story.

Coalie, I want the story of you and the snake and the werewolf porn to be a movie or something. Only at the end wacky snake-related circumstances bring the two of you together, years later, and they get their werewolf porn and you become BFFs!

(Also, I think you should totally send them the werewolf porn and explain about the snake, because that is hilarious and you sound like an awesome exchange writer with terrible luck.)

Part of my reason for telling this story is a dim, distant hope that my recip that year is still around and a coalie and that they will find this and tell me they still care.
They left a really nice comment on the fic and maybe they meant it, but whenever I see it on my works page it makes me want to scream.

This story made my night, not even kidding.

/also wants to read the unloved werewolf porn

I want to request this for Yuuletide.

Yuletide_Coal Ungifted Werewolf Porn RPF (3) ↑
Writer
Recipient
Writer's Python

NA

Should the werewolf porn itself be a character?

And would this category fall afoul of the "fannish spaces" rule?

I feel like if $17,000 isn't a character, neither is werewolf porn.

A+

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The Dirty Energy Source

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