Maybe it's because I'm toward the older end of the spectrum, but I'm a tad more sympathetic. He seems to belong to the generation when gay wasn't okay, especially among men. A lot of those guys are still squicked by the idea of two men having sex. If you didn't live through the 70's and 80's and have gay friends during that period, you may not realize how ingrained those things were, and just how dangerous it could be to be gay.

I'm a lot more concerned about how people treat other real people than about what they want to see their fictional characters doing. In other words, if you treat real gays respectfully, I really don't care what your inner feelings are, or what you want to see in fic. Until I hear about him harassing or otherwise mistreating real people, I'm going to cut him some slack.